Hi, Sif and Reader with the question, The question is heartfelt. I.e. I felt it with my heart. And I understand it with my head. I will share my own experience briefly, but know that I love talking about our move to Italy, so feel free to reach out to me. We moved to Italy 2 years ago at 70 (me) and 73 (my husband) . We are "young" for our numerical age, not very afraid of trying new things, absolutely loved the idea of living in Italy, and even more than that, we love actually living in Italy. We couldn't be happier and can't imagine not being here. It has changed our lives (which were very good in Charleston, SC) into something enchanted. Every day pretty much. But managing the cultural differences and the bureaucracy and the language has been really challenging. Hard isn't quite the word. It is mostly just unbelievable to us that it can be so challenging! But it is entirely worth it. Things to consider....I have my husband, my best friend to share both the joy and the pain and it is wonderful to divide and conquer when needed. As Sif did this on her own, she can address what that is like. Money helps... you don't want to even think or worry about that at all with all the other things you have to think about. The exchange rate takes 16% of your money right away. We pay taxes in Italy and they are about the same % for us as in the US, but just recommend doing your homework in advance. Talk with an accountant who does international work and speaks ENGLISH! AND things are so much cheaper. We had dinner tonight with wine for €42!!!! It would have been $100 in Charleston for the same meal. Allow patience to wash over you and let things take their own time. Because they will whether you like it or not. I can only imagine that finding both expat English speaking friends who have shared experiences would be important as well as finding your community in France , those who will bring you into the fold and show you the way of the beautiful French life. Lastly, we almost always follow our hearts. We just do. And this life has been so rewarding. We both feel like children again in so many ways. We sold everything in the US to live here. We have no toes in any water in our past. But you might also realize that nothing is permanent unless you want it to be. You can change your mind. No laws against that. It is all a beautiful adventure. If you are curious, adventurous (not like rappelling cliffs but immersing yourself in a new culture) what is the cost of giving it a try? We will cheer you on . And happy to share our experiences if helpful, though each country has their own particular set of quirkiness! All our best wishes from Italy! And love Sif's response. There you have it.
This is one of the most generous and honest comments I have ever received in this space – and I mean that, Alecia. You have given the reader, @NorthernLight (and so many others quietly reading along) something I couldn’t give her: the lived experience of someone who actually took the leap, at exactly her stage of life, and found it entirely worth it.
“Something enchanted. Every day pretty much.” I want to frame those words.
And your practical wisdom – the accountant, the exchange rate, the patience, the bureaucracy that defies belief – is exactly the kind of grounded, real guidance that no amount of dreamy writing can replace. Thank you for that.
I also love that you mentioned finding community – both among fellow expats and among the locals who bring you into the fold. That has been one of the most quietly profound parts of my own experience in the Languedoc.
And yes – I did this alone. Which is its own particular adventure. Perhaps a post for another day 😊
Thank you for being here, and for sharing your beautiful Italian life so openly. I have a feeling you’ve just given someone the final nudge they needed🤍
Sif, thank you so much. You are helping people navigate these potent decisions every day with your beautiful stories. We really are all in this together! Fingers crossed, she makes the leap.
Thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts here - such a good read!
I’m currently finding myself back in my childhood home, caring for my elderly parents, and feeling utterly overwhelmed and completely inadequate. Yet…when I drive to their pharmacy to pick up their medications, I pass by the quaint little Main Street shop where I opened my first retail venture at the age of 19. I had no college, no experience, and a huge heart full of teenage trauma and loss. Driving through tears, I asked myself, “who WAS that girl? Where did that courage come from? What was I thinking back then?” and more importantly…”what happened to that brave, fearless soul???”
Here I am 40ish years later…afraid of failing, worried about doing everything right, bothered by rejection. Shouldn’t it have been the other way around?
Maybe. Maybe not.
It’s never too late…and never too early to venture out & follow your dreams.
Oh, what I would give now for even just a hint of myself at 19. I have a feeling she is still in there…somewhere…maybe hidden under a big pile of grown-up debris.
Your words inspire me to pick up a piece of rubble and just start digging underneath. Who knows what sort of buried treasure lies beneath??? 😉
Maybe nothing…maybe a few rusty heirlooms…maybe something golden. 💛
I read your comment several times – and sat with it for a long while before I could even begin to respond. Thank you for writing something so beautifully honest and vulnerable. It touched my heart deeply, and I have a feeling so many women reading along will recognise themselves in your words. I could for sure ♥️
I am sending you so much compassion and strength as you navigate this season. Caring for elderly parents while carrying your own quiet longings is no small thing.
Your comment moved me so deeply that I decided to respond with a full open letter – a new Letter from Maison Violette that goes out to all my readers tomorrow. Not just for you, but for every woman who has ever looked back at a younger version of herself and wondered where she went. I hope it finds you at exactly the right moment 🤍🌿
So glad you are here! You are always welcome to send me a DM if you have anything you wish to share, ask, or simply want my perspective on.
Thank you for your thoughtful and kind reply, Sif 💗 I’m so grateful to have found your writings during this season of life. I do not (yet) have the words to explain how inspiring & comforting it has been to visit here at Maison Violette.
This was truly lovely. I especially enjoyed reading your lines at the end about how you'd like to feel when you're towards the end of your life, framing the choice as: what would you rather look back on? Taking the chance, or not?
Thank you, Sarah :) That little time travel exercise is one I return to myself whenever I'm standing at a crossroads. There is something about imagining that older, wiser version of ourselves looking back that cuts through all the noise rather quickly. She always seems to know 🤍
I wish this post could go on and on forever for me to read all day, because it's so good, so true, so warm, so inspiring. If we were neighbors, you would truly be my best friend. Thank you Sif!
This made me smile so deeply – what a lovely thing to say. I feel the same way about the women who find their way into this little corner, and somehow I think we would recognise each other immediately over a cup of something warm. Thank you for being here, Ginger. Truly🤍
Sif, this reader inquiry exactly mirrors my story and what I have been thinking for a few years… and my recent sojourn to Occitanie has gently reassured me that my inner feeling is rightly aligned ☀️
Your in-depth and thoughtful guidance to the reader is very insightful and pragmatic - it has given me some much-needed clarity as I ponder my next steps entering a new chapter in my Life. Thank you!😊
Anthony, this makes me so happy to read – that the piece could offer a little clarity at exactly the moment you needed it means a great deal to me. And how wonderful that Occitanie itself has been whispering the same thing. Sometimes a place confirms what we already know but haven't yet dared to say out loud.
I do hope our paths cross there next time you visit – coffee somewhere lovely in the Languedoc sounds like a very fine plan to me 🤍
Sorry.. it’s a bit long.. but want to say this….Thanks for sharing this, dear Sif❤️ I was honestly the wisdom I needed to hear this week. Just recently, a close friend visited our vineyard in the Douro and didn’t quite share the same excitement I had about our plans😞. She was gently hinting that maybe I shouldn’t do it — that it’s a huge leap, very raw, very remote, and honestly so much work ahead. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me at first. I was genuinely excited for her to finally see the place and understand what we see in it.
But at the same time, I understood where she was coming from too. The Douro — especially where we are — is not for everybody. It’s quiet, unspoilt, a little rough around the edges, and definitely not the obvious choice for most people. But maybe that’s exactly why we love it.
Deep down, my husband and I really do see a life there. Not some grand glamorous vision — just a meaningful one. Slower, simpler, creative, grounded.
I can already picture myself baking sourdough and healthy breads 😍- some Rugbrød 🇩🇰too and my maybe favorite Kanel Stang or my very own Pan de Sal 🇵🇭in a stone oven inside one of the old stone houses….thinking of ideas for our olive oil…planting herbs and fruit trees, setting long tables for friends. And my husband happily experimenting with port wine and beer making- (a new hobby!) 🍺 in one of the old basements..
And honestly, I can already picture you there too, Sif 😍🙏🏻 (manifesting!!) sitting around the table with us in the Douro, a Hyggeligt day sharing food, wine, stories, ideas, and conversations with people who may still be figuring things out, reinventing themselves, or trying to build a life that feels more true to who they are.
I think at this stage of life, there’s something beautiful about admitting we don’t necessarily have everything perfectly figured out anymore. But we still remain curious. Still hopeful🙏🏻🤩. Still open🙋🏻♀️
After spending most of our married life moving across six countries, constantly packing and unpacking our lives, I think we’re finally trying to understand what “home” really means for us. And somehow, despite all the uncertainty, our hearts❤️ keep pointing to Porto and the Douro.
Her comments did stir fear and doubt in me 🤦🏻♀️for a few days…But eventually I had to remind myself that I don’t need to convince everyone else about the dream. I just need to stay honest about what feels right for us.
Your story really comforted me in that uneasiness. It reminded me that sometimes the paths that make the least sense on paper end up becoming the ones that feel most right in the heart❤️ So thank you Sif. Truly. ❤️
Hi Sif, I too feel there would be so much to share over a coffee!
Here in Anger over the last year my French husband and I have met several times with people, single or in couples, sometimes encountered through the English language library of Angers (soon to be called Maison Anglophone) who are either testing this area or who've decided to live here. They've all been Americans wanting change. We try to answer their questions.
Alecia's recent experience is very rich concerning several of the types of things one encounters during the first couple years after arriving. I love the way she tells about some of the tough stuff, but also how what is learned enriches the experience and one's knowledge all around.
I've now lived 42 years in France. I first came as a student in 81\82 during which I discovered so much that I loved about France beyond the language. I met someone at the end of that year and came back later and we got married. With English girlfriends we joked that life was a bit on a wing and a prayer (if I've got the expression right).
But really adopting the whole culture has served me well through living various chapters : a divorce, a second mariage and three wonderful daughters who are more French than American and lots of different jobs and now retirement. It's been a path that has meandered, but there always Lots to learn.
Love this post so much! I resonate so much with your thoughts about fear and letting it accompany you on your journey, not letting it stop you. Also about knowing yourself enough to trust that a leap is possible. 🤍 always enjoy your writing!
This means so much, Katie – and yes, fear as a travel companion rather than a gatekeeper is something it took me a long time to truly understand. It doesn't have to leave before you can begin. It just has to move to the back seat. Sending warm hugs🤍
Sif, I love your subjects. You have beautiful experience and lifestyle and philosophy to share. Like so many on Substack however, your usage of AI to write your pieces is so very painful. AI uses writing styles that make all its points with the same, overused languaging and phrasing…. “Not this, but that. Sentences devoid of grammar rules.” This AI voice makes everything dramatic, but in the same tiresome way…. It robs the pleasure from reading your gorgeous words. Perhaps your next adventure is to create your own writing, in your own style, and a voice that truly shows YOU? It’s a lot slower…. And less productive… but honestly, that would probably fit you perfectly!
Hi, Sif and Reader with the question, The question is heartfelt. I.e. I felt it with my heart. And I understand it with my head. I will share my own experience briefly, but know that I love talking about our move to Italy, so feel free to reach out to me. We moved to Italy 2 years ago at 70 (me) and 73 (my husband) . We are "young" for our numerical age, not very afraid of trying new things, absolutely loved the idea of living in Italy, and even more than that, we love actually living in Italy. We couldn't be happier and can't imagine not being here. It has changed our lives (which were very good in Charleston, SC) into something enchanted. Every day pretty much. But managing the cultural differences and the bureaucracy and the language has been really challenging. Hard isn't quite the word. It is mostly just unbelievable to us that it can be so challenging! But it is entirely worth it. Things to consider....I have my husband, my best friend to share both the joy and the pain and it is wonderful to divide and conquer when needed. As Sif did this on her own, she can address what that is like. Money helps... you don't want to even think or worry about that at all with all the other things you have to think about. The exchange rate takes 16% of your money right away. We pay taxes in Italy and they are about the same % for us as in the US, but just recommend doing your homework in advance. Talk with an accountant who does international work and speaks ENGLISH! AND things are so much cheaper. We had dinner tonight with wine for €42!!!! It would have been $100 in Charleston for the same meal. Allow patience to wash over you and let things take their own time. Because they will whether you like it or not. I can only imagine that finding both expat English speaking friends who have shared experiences would be important as well as finding your community in France , those who will bring you into the fold and show you the way of the beautiful French life. Lastly, we almost always follow our hearts. We just do. And this life has been so rewarding. We both feel like children again in so many ways. We sold everything in the US to live here. We have no toes in any water in our past. But you might also realize that nothing is permanent unless you want it to be. You can change your mind. No laws against that. It is all a beautiful adventure. If you are curious, adventurous (not like rappelling cliffs but immersing yourself in a new culture) what is the cost of giving it a try? We will cheer you on . And happy to share our experiences if helpful, though each country has their own particular set of quirkiness! All our best wishes from Italy! And love Sif's response. There you have it.
This is one of the most generous and honest comments I have ever received in this space – and I mean that, Alecia. You have given the reader, @NorthernLight (and so many others quietly reading along) something I couldn’t give her: the lived experience of someone who actually took the leap, at exactly her stage of life, and found it entirely worth it.
“Something enchanted. Every day pretty much.” I want to frame those words.
And your practical wisdom – the accountant, the exchange rate, the patience, the bureaucracy that defies belief – is exactly the kind of grounded, real guidance that no amount of dreamy writing can replace. Thank you for that.
I also love that you mentioned finding community – both among fellow expats and among the locals who bring you into the fold. That has been one of the most quietly profound parts of my own experience in the Languedoc.
And yes – I did this alone. Which is its own particular adventure. Perhaps a post for another day 😊
Thank you for being here, and for sharing your beautiful Italian life so openly. I have a feeling you’ve just given someone the final nudge they needed🤍
Warmly, Sif
Sif, thank you so much. You are helping people navigate these potent decisions every day with your beautiful stories. We really are all in this together! Fingers crossed, she makes the leap.
Thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts here - such a good read!
I’m currently finding myself back in my childhood home, caring for my elderly parents, and feeling utterly overwhelmed and completely inadequate. Yet…when I drive to their pharmacy to pick up their medications, I pass by the quaint little Main Street shop where I opened my first retail venture at the age of 19. I had no college, no experience, and a huge heart full of teenage trauma and loss. Driving through tears, I asked myself, “who WAS that girl? Where did that courage come from? What was I thinking back then?” and more importantly…”what happened to that brave, fearless soul???”
Here I am 40ish years later…afraid of failing, worried about doing everything right, bothered by rejection. Shouldn’t it have been the other way around?
Maybe. Maybe not.
It’s never too late…and never too early to venture out & follow your dreams.
Oh, what I would give now for even just a hint of myself at 19. I have a feeling she is still in there…somewhere…maybe hidden under a big pile of grown-up debris.
Your words inspire me to pick up a piece of rubble and just start digging underneath. Who knows what sort of buried treasure lies beneath??? 😉
Maybe nothing…maybe a few rusty heirlooms…maybe something golden. 💛
Dear Trish,
I read your comment several times – and sat with it for a long while before I could even begin to respond. Thank you for writing something so beautifully honest and vulnerable. It touched my heart deeply, and I have a feeling so many women reading along will recognise themselves in your words. I could for sure ♥️
I am sending you so much compassion and strength as you navigate this season. Caring for elderly parents while carrying your own quiet longings is no small thing.
Your comment moved me so deeply that I decided to respond with a full open letter – a new Letter from Maison Violette that goes out to all my readers tomorrow. Not just for you, but for every woman who has ever looked back at a younger version of herself and wondered where she went. I hope it finds you at exactly the right moment 🤍🌿
So glad you are here! You are always welcome to send me a DM if you have anything you wish to share, ask, or simply want my perspective on.
Warmly,
Sif x
Thank you for your thoughtful and kind reply, Sif 💗 I’m so grateful to have found your writings during this season of life. I do not (yet) have the words to explain how inspiring & comforting it has been to visit here at Maison Violette.
This was truly lovely. I especially enjoyed reading your lines at the end about how you'd like to feel when you're towards the end of your life, framing the choice as: what would you rather look back on? Taking the chance, or not?
Thank you for your words!
Thank you, Sarah :) That little time travel exercise is one I return to myself whenever I'm standing at a crossroads. There is something about imagining that older, wiser version of ourselves looking back that cuts through all the noise rather quickly. She always seems to know 🤍
Time-limited gift. If that’s not an xymoron
You make a fair point – it’s perhaps more accurately a bonus than a gift. A rather generous one, I hope🤍
I wish this post could go on and on forever for me to read all day, because it's so good, so true, so warm, so inspiring. If we were neighbors, you would truly be my best friend. Thank you Sif!
This made me smile so deeply – what a lovely thing to say. I feel the same way about the women who find their way into this little corner, and somehow I think we would recognise each other immediately over a cup of something warm. Thank you for being here, Ginger. Truly🤍
I love this. It felt like a big hug. Thank you :)
Aww, that makes me SO happy to hear, Julia. Thank you for sharing your thoughts :)
A big heartfelt thank you to you, Sif. It spoke to me loud and clear. 🙏
Oh, I am so glad it did. That truly means a lot to me, Farah 🤍
Sif, this reader inquiry exactly mirrors my story and what I have been thinking for a few years… and my recent sojourn to Occitanie has gently reassured me that my inner feeling is rightly aligned ☀️
Your in-depth and thoughtful guidance to the reader is very insightful and pragmatic - it has given me some much-needed clarity as I ponder my next steps entering a new chapter in my Life. Thank you!😊
Anthony 🇨🇦
Anthony, this makes me so happy to read – that the piece could offer a little clarity at exactly the moment you needed it means a great deal to me. And how wonderful that Occitanie itself has been whispering the same thing. Sometimes a place confirms what we already know but haven't yet dared to say out loud.
I do hope our paths cross there next time you visit – coffee somewhere lovely in the Languedoc sounds like a very fine plan to me 🤍
Warmly, Sif 🌿💜
Sorry.. it’s a bit long.. but want to say this….Thanks for sharing this, dear Sif❤️ I was honestly the wisdom I needed to hear this week. Just recently, a close friend visited our vineyard in the Douro and didn’t quite share the same excitement I had about our plans😞. She was gently hinting that maybe I shouldn’t do it — that it’s a huge leap, very raw, very remote, and honestly so much work ahead. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me at first. I was genuinely excited for her to finally see the place and understand what we see in it.
But at the same time, I understood where she was coming from too. The Douro — especially where we are — is not for everybody. It’s quiet, unspoilt, a little rough around the edges, and definitely not the obvious choice for most people. But maybe that’s exactly why we love it.
Deep down, my husband and I really do see a life there. Not some grand glamorous vision — just a meaningful one. Slower, simpler, creative, grounded.
I can already picture myself baking sourdough and healthy breads 😍- some Rugbrød 🇩🇰too and my maybe favorite Kanel Stang or my very own Pan de Sal 🇵🇭in a stone oven inside one of the old stone houses….thinking of ideas for our olive oil…planting herbs and fruit trees, setting long tables for friends. And my husband happily experimenting with port wine and beer making- (a new hobby!) 🍺 in one of the old basements..
And honestly, I can already picture you there too, Sif 😍🙏🏻 (manifesting!!) sitting around the table with us in the Douro, a Hyggeligt day sharing food, wine, stories, ideas, and conversations with people who may still be figuring things out, reinventing themselves, or trying to build a life that feels more true to who they are.
I think at this stage of life, there’s something beautiful about admitting we don’t necessarily have everything perfectly figured out anymore. But we still remain curious. Still hopeful🙏🏻🤩. Still open🙋🏻♀️
After spending most of our married life moving across six countries, constantly packing and unpacking our lives, I think we’re finally trying to understand what “home” really means for us. And somehow, despite all the uncertainty, our hearts❤️ keep pointing to Porto and the Douro.
Her comments did stir fear and doubt in me 🤦🏻♀️for a few days…But eventually I had to remind myself that I don’t need to convince everyone else about the dream. I just need to stay honest about what feels right for us.
Your story really comforted me in that uneasiness. It reminded me that sometimes the paths that make the least sense on paper end up becoming the ones that feel most right in the heart❤️ So thank you Sif. Truly. ❤️
Hi Sif, I too feel there would be so much to share over a coffee!
Here in Anger over the last year my French husband and I have met several times with people, single or in couples, sometimes encountered through the English language library of Angers (soon to be called Maison Anglophone) who are either testing this area or who've decided to live here. They've all been Americans wanting change. We try to answer their questions.
Alecia's recent experience is very rich concerning several of the types of things one encounters during the first couple years after arriving. I love the way she tells about some of the tough stuff, but also how what is learned enriches the experience and one's knowledge all around.
I've now lived 42 years in France. I first came as a student in 81\82 during which I discovered so much that I loved about France beyond the language. I met someone at the end of that year and came back later and we got married. With English girlfriends we joked that life was a bit on a wing and a prayer (if I've got the expression right).
But really adopting the whole culture has served me well through living various chapters : a divorce, a second mariage and three wonderful daughters who are more French than American and lots of different jobs and now retirement. It's been a path that has meandered, but there always Lots to learn.
Love this post so much! I resonate so much with your thoughts about fear and letting it accompany you on your journey, not letting it stop you. Also about knowing yourself enough to trust that a leap is possible. 🤍 always enjoy your writing!
This means so much, Katie – and yes, fear as a travel companion rather than a gatekeeper is something it took me a long time to truly understand. It doesn't have to leave before you can begin. It just has to move to the back seat. Sending warm hugs🤍
Sif, I love your subjects. You have beautiful experience and lifestyle and philosophy to share. Like so many on Substack however, your usage of AI to write your pieces is so very painful. AI uses writing styles that make all its points with the same, overused languaging and phrasing…. “Not this, but that. Sentences devoid of grammar rules.” This AI voice makes everything dramatic, but in the same tiresome way…. It robs the pleasure from reading your gorgeous words. Perhaps your next adventure is to create your own writing, in your own style, and a voice that truly shows YOU? It’s a lot slower…. And less productive… but honestly, that would probably fit you perfectly!