My one-on-one with the Dalai Lama
Thoughts on the art of reinventing oneself and finding new guiding stars.
Hello friend,
A few days ago, I had a rather extraordinary experience - I had a one-on-one with the Dalai Lama.
That's truly how it felt!
As the lights dimmed in the movie theater and His Holiness settled into a chair that appeared to be right in front of me, time and space ceased to exist, leaving only him and me. He sat enveloped in darkness; so did I. The boundary between the screen and the theater disappeared, and His Holiness and I sat face to face.
"Brothers and sisters on this small planet," he said in his characteristic calm and deeply present voice. "We live in a time when we are busy, busy, busy. Our minds are filled with fear. With worry. With stress. The purpose of our lives is happiness, joy, and peace. But peace does not come down from the sky."
At that moment, sitting in the darkness, I found myself nodding. His words resonated. Yes, speed, fear, and confusion had also subtly crept into my life in recent years - not to an overwhelming degree, but enough to be noticeable.
It likely began with the onset of the pandemic. The uncertainty of what tomorrow would bring for oneself, loved ones, and fellow human beings triggered in me a sense of vulnerability beyond the norm, a feeling of losing control, and perhaps a realization that I lacked a clear vision for my life after my sons had flown from the nest.
The era of Covid was clearly a time of change. We were confined to our homes, unable to go out, travel, or gather in large groups. Guests stopped coming to my two cafés in Aarhus, and my students had to cancel their participation in my workshops and retreats. This led me to sell my cafés and put all activities in my educational business on hold.
All this happened at a pace that reminded me most of the turbulence felt when slamming on the brakes in a car. A new source of income had to be devised, and my creativity and entrepreneurial spirit had to be put to the test under pressure - a situation I had not encountered to such an extent before.
However, bidding farewell to the last of my three musketeers and continuing life in a home that had once been so vibrant was the hardest part. It was like stepping through a portal into a world where everything looked the same, but everything had changed.
The day my life's purpose said, "Hasta la vista, Baby!"
Being a mother to my three sons who lived at home had been a significant part of my identity and raison d'être for 25 years, and honestly, it felt as if this duo - my identity and my sense of purpose - had slipped into one of the many bags packed in the hallway when my youngest son left the nest, hoping to find their ticket to adventure.
So there I stood - completely alone, on the brink of a new chapter. A chapter I should have been prepared for since my sons came into the world, yet it completely caught me off guard. If you picture the opening scene from Bridget Jones' Diary and hear the tones of "All By Myself...", you wouldn't be far off. That was the scene I found myself living through.
For the first time in many years, I was struck by the experience of losing my purpose, and my vision, and yes, there were days when I almost felt like my identity had collapsed. Like a human version of the Phoenix, I faced the challenge of finding a way to rise from the ashes in a new and stronger version of myself. Clinging to the tale of this iconic mythical creature gave me the motivation and hope I so desperately needed. It wasn't the end of everything, but a new beginning, something that had not yet taken shape. I just didn't know what this new thing was.
Navigating through the dark night of the soul
Truth be told, it's probably not uncommon for life to occasionally present us humans with challenging transitions, which can be experienced as what is often referred to in English as the "Dark Night of the Soul". Even though it's not always easy when life knocks on the door and we experience growth that brings challenges, the dark night of the soul is an essential part of a learning journey and spiritual awakening. It often takes us on a mental odyssey where we must delve into life's profound questions to gain clarity on the way forward:
Who am I, what is the purpose of my life, what can I contribute, what am I passionate about achieving, what values ​​do I want to live by, what people do I want in my life, how do I want to live, where do I want to live and what mindset do I want to navigate through life with?
That was the process awaiting me at this juncture in life - as if my previous journey had been out of a path that split like a handle of a fork; a fork that suddenly divided into three, and the choice was now which of the three branches to choose. And it was there, at this crossroad, that I found myself lingering for a while, until one morning last March, I suddenly saw that the little country townhouse with the violet shutters in France, which I had closely followed through a Swedish blogger's Instagram page for the past four years and felt an inexplicable pull towards, suddenly come onto the market. And just like that, it became crystal clear to me - as if every cell in my body united to send me a clear message - which of the three paths I should take?
The story continues in the next newsletter, so stay tuned!
Love,
SifX